


Conviction

by PureResonance



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Gen, Nonbinary Amamiya Ren, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Kurusu Akira, Trust Issues, didn't tag those since they aren't a main focus, different character per chapter, minor appearances of other character, other character tags will be added when more chapters are posted, pseudo character exploration of trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-19 08:53:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22108303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PureResonance/pseuds/PureResonance
Summary: Conviction, noun:1. a formal declaration that someone is guilty of a criminal offense.2. the firm belief in the reliability/truth/ability/strength of someone/something.---The world responds to every action we take, all of which have consequences.When you're condemned as an outcast, you only have yourself to sort out the pieces that remain.
Kudos: 13





	Conviction

**Author's Note:**

> It's important to note that I personally headcanon Ren as nonbinary (they/he pronouns). However the fact Ren is nonbinary is not the main focus of this. It's just worth mentioning since I'm using solely they/them pronouns for this specific fic.
> 
> There are a mix of elements from both the game and the anime. So if certain instances don't fit in perfectly with the events of the game alone that is why.

A single word was enough to shift their entire world. 

“Guilty.”

With that phrase a fate was set in motion for them that they never asked for. The court said they are a criminal, a menace, someone no one should give the time of day. In a small town like theirs it didn’t take long for the word to spread: _Without warning Amamiya Ren attacked a man, knocked him to the ground with a blow that drew blood. They terrified the woman who watched her date be beaten until the cops arrived to drag the teen away._

At least, that’s what the rumors said. It didn’t matter that the man was drunk and aggressive. It didn’t matter if Ren saw the woman struggling to break free as she argued against him. It didn’t matter if all Ren did was turn him around and he fell on his own. The police respected the drunkard, the woman gave a false story, they were thrown into shock as the cops arrested them. 

That was that, the world already decided what they are. Ren’s protest and testimony of the real events fell to deaf ears. In the eyes of everyone they are violent and uncaring. If you say the wrong thing it would set them off and you’d become their next victim. No one was safe from their actions. That’s all anyone saw in them now. 

Their parents didn’t know what to believe anymore.

Their friends never responded to any of their messages. When they tried to talk to them in person, they were ignored.

Their neighbors avoided them like they were a disease. 

People who never even spoke to them knew who they were and to avoid them. 

On their first day of school after that night, they were taken to the office and expelled. After all there couldn’t be a criminal roaming the halls. The small student body and teachers had to be protected.

Whatever life Ren had before was over. They were as good as dead in their hometown’s eyes.

They have their probation looming over their head now. it’s not like anything back there mattered anymore. With the court’s orders, they were packed and shipped off to Tokyo just as fast as they were thrown away back home. Everyone said it was their only choice, their last chance to get some kind of semblance of a life back. Keep their head down and survive the year. If they followed through on that, they would be welcomed back home again.

Still, even when this was all over... A year away from the countryside wouldn’t miraculously make anyone forget about the mark on their record. It wouldn’t disappear just because of ‘good’ behavior, especially when what they thought was right was what caused it in the first place. 

No one would trust them from now on.

Their new ‘home’ only exemplified that, Sakura-san was told the same story the court was given. Ren’s attempts to tell their side was met with a stern “I don’t want to hear it.”

Sakura-san left them alone in the attic of the cafe with a warning that they’d be thrown out if they show any sign of causing trouble. Ren said nothing for the rest of the night, as they cleaned the dusty attic, only one thought repeated in their head: _“Give them one reason to distrust you, and it’s all over. That’s how it is.”_

Shujin Academy was more of the same, the principal threatening expulsion if they bring trouble and their homeroom teacher wanting nothing to do with them. 

It was suffocating.

Yet, Ren couldn’t find it in them to regret what they did. Despite everything, they saved that woman. At their core all they could think about doing back then was helping her. If the world turned their back on them, then that was that. It may be difficult to live with, but the idea of living in the guilt of ignoring someone when they were in trouble would eat away and haunt them even more.

Awakening to their other self only reaffirmed that. 

Ren didn’t know what to expect from their first day of school. Nothing could prepare them for ending up locked in a castle cell with a boy who was going to show them a shortcut to their school. When what they supposed were the guards spoke about execution and the bizarre ‘king’ beat the other person Ren was trapped with, they ran on instinct. They desperately tried to push their way through to help him but were restrained and could only watch in frustrated horror. 

When two voices resounded in their head, it felt like time froze, all of their growing doubts came to the forefront of their mind. They relived the past few weeks in that moment until one question was asked.

_"Was your previous decision a mistake then?”_

Without hesitation, Ren knew the answer.

**“I wasn’t wrong!”**

In a rush of wind and flame, Arsene gave them a sense of confidence back. For the first time in ages they felt some form of control of their life again. A small bit of relief filled them, it didn’t matter that they didn’t have perfect mastery of these new powers yet. The agency Ren felt allowed them and the boy, Sakamoto, to find help in the strange Morgana and escape this twisted world.

Still, there remained a small twinge of doubt in the back of their mind. Upon their return to the real world, the school brought them to the surface again. 

_“Isn’t that the criminal that transferred here?”_

_"I hear they carry all kinds of dangerous stuff in their bags...”_

_“You should stay away from them, they’ll get you wrapped up in all kinds of trouble…”_

_“So what? Because no other school will take them that means we’re stuck with them? Talk about unfair”_

_“I mean, they were arrested for assault, right…? I bet they’ll attack you if you just look at them the wrong way!”_

The whispers of the other students filled every hall they walked just like they had back home. Despite the staff’s confidentiality agreement, rumors about their records were running wild. Nothing had changed. Day one and their chance at some semblance of normalcy was dead on arrival. Then again, they supposed that was already thrown out the window with their morning in a dungeon.

Sad to say, a small part of them expected this to happen. Given their luck’s track record, it would have been more surprising if this didn’t happen.

After all, they trusted the woman they saved to tell the truth. She didn’t.

They trusted their parents and ‘friends’ to believe in them. No one did.

Why should they have expected anyone school to keep their word?

Ms. Kawakami told them she didn’t know who spilled their record to the students, just that it wasn’t her. Given her actions when they first met, Ren couldn’t believe her. She didn’t want them in her class to begin with. None of that mattered anymore. It’s not like they planned on letting any new ‘friends’ they made close to them. If anything, this just made their plan to keep everyone at arm’s length easier.

Ms. Kawakami continued to drone on with what they were expecting: several tired remarks lamenting the fact she had to deal with them. That they need to go home because Sakura-san seemed angry about them being late. Her last warning to not getting involved with Sakamoto... Only to him to approach Ren in the middle of the lecture.

He whispered, “I’ll be waitin’ on the rooftop.”

Ren couldn’t help but oblige his request.

It was a short meeting but one that was to be expected. The castle was a bizarre phenomenon neither of them could explain. It bothered both of them to no end, especially when no amount of distractions could erase the horrifying image of the Kamoshida they saw there from their minds. Despite all the supernatural talk, they ended it off with properly introducing themselves to each other before parting ways. 

But Ren continued to lingered on one comment of Ryuji made to them.

_“Heh, we’re pretty much in the same boat.”_

They might not have known why Ryuji was shunned by everyone else, yet it was something almost comforting for them. Even if they wanted to remain distant from him, maybe that small feeling of solidarity could explain the other reason they followed Ryuji’s plan to find the castle again and save those they saw trapped inside.

Their return to the castle took a small amount of trial and error. The transition between the worlds felt seamless. The atmosphere may be unsettling, yet Ren took to the change naturally to the point where they hadn’t even notice their clothing transformed until Ryuji screamed about it. Morgana made his own presence known with enough noise and their plan began.

They traversed carefully, learned of the workings through Morgana’s teachings. When they had to fight the shadows in order to clear a path, Ren felt a sense of purpose, comfort, and thrill they desperately were lacking. Even when they reached their destination and found out they couldn’t free people who weren’t real, Ryuji memorized the victim’s faces. They wouldn’t remain idle.

As their group made their escape, the king subdued them in the main hall. They were helpless as the Shadow Kamoshida gave a gradious speech of the past of the track team. In that moment, Ren realized why Ryuji’s statement the other day struck a chord. He stood up for his former team when they were mistreated, and he was punished for trying to fight back. His future was stolen from him in just one action. 

They had both lost everything.

Ren just couldn’t bear it anymore.

“You’re going to let him talk to you like that? You can’t forgive him, right?” They stated quietly, a familiar rage filled up within them as their gaze met Ryuji’s own.

**_“Don’t let him win!”_ **

Just like that, the familiar tempest of flames returned. Ryuji awoke to the same power they had a day prior. They fought together with ease, like it was second nature to all involved. The enemies dissipated to the three’s combined strength, and they made their escape back to their own world.

Exhaustion hit them like a truck when they reappeared. The realization that they both had nearly died twice in the past two days came with it. Neither of them would have survived this ordeal without each other. Ren could feel Ryuji’s trust in him, it was… difficult to process through their mind. They could tell though Ryuji didn’t want part ways yet, so they stopped for dinner at a beef bowl shop. Ryuji’s ramblings of how the food was and moving forward with the next step against Kamoshida filled the air. Ren didn’t respond with much except an occasional nod and prod at their own food. 

Their repetitive motion came to a halt when Ryuji shifted subject, asking Ren to tell their story. He had only known the rumors and wanted the full perspective. It was far from the first time they told their story, and it only felt fair since they had learned of Ryuji’s own. So they once again spoke of finding themself at the wrong place at the wrong time, the betrayal and punishment that followed. 

Ren remained silent about their own emotional aftermath. They had only known Ryuji for two days. He his feelings were an open book, Ren would rather keep theirs locked up tight. That was their burden, and they couldn’t share it with anyone else.

As they finished their recollection, they resigned themself to hearing the same doubts from others yet again. Instead Ryuji protested, yelling that it was unfair, Ren did the right thing and this shouldn’t have been their thanks for this. He was livid at their situation. It took a few minutes for Ren to process the reaction, but finally someone believed them. Someone saw the truth. Given everything though, it would make sense for that person to be Ryuji. They were the same.

For the first time in months, Ren smiled. 

They had forgotten what it was like to have someone on their side.

They parted ways after dinner, exchanging phone numbers after Ryuji complained about Ren not eating enough. The subway ride back to Yongen was filled with the white noise of the people around them. Ren just stared at their new contact on their phone. It felt a lot less empty now.

Maybe, there was still a little trust left in the world...

Someone saw them as a person, as a friend

And maybe Ren had some of their own trust left to give in return.

Only time would tell how much remained inside them.

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't forgotten about my other multi chapter fic, I just hit a roadblock on it. 
> 
> This started off as a cathartic writing exercise to take my mind off things going on in my personal life. It ended up turning into an introspective look on certain Phantom Thieves and how their circumstances and trauma affected their ability and views on trust. It ended up being very relaxing. 
> 
> I won't be going over every member, especially given how I'm avoiding P5R spoilers so it wouldn't feel right tackling characters like Akechi without knowing about the stuff in his reworked confidant, or even anything about Kasumi since I know basically nothing about her outside of what was shown in prerelease and her codename. But I have plans to tackle two other Phantom Thieves, and maybe one more if I feel up for it.
> 
> Anything after that is unknown.
> 
> It should be expected given how this one ended, but next up Ryuji takes the spotlight.


End file.
